My Heart is Tumultuous

My heart is tumultuous,

Oh Lord, calm these seas.

Crashing waves of past failures, present sorrows, and future hopes,

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick,

but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.”

Alas, where is this tree whose fruit gives life?

I am human, and yet redeemed.

What of this world that harbors the despair of selfish humanity?

When will we see His hope fulfilled in us?

For He is the hope of the nations, our Living God and King.

The vision of eternity drives us on:

The elect who know where their help comes from.

And what of the rest?

They cry for hunger and thirst:

A mother without her child,

A son without his father’s love,

Broken hearts lost in greed and depravity.

When will we wake up to truth to see we are saved?

My heart is tumultuous,

Oh Lord, calm these seas.

I am a man, and yet redeemed.

I have failed, but He makes it good.

I have cried, and He collects my tears.

I have rejoiced, and He shares in my joy.

The Lord my God who is One,

The Eternal One reigns Forever.

My heart is tumultuous

Oh Lord, calm these seas.

He has and He will.

[1] Proverbs 13:12 NKJV

Seeds of Longing

I love Him. Sometimes, I love Him so much it hurts. I’m referring to Jesus in case there is any question. There is an ache of longing deep within me for perfection to come that I may rest in His arms for eternity, uninhibited and free of distractions: just me, Him, and the cool breeze of His glorious peace surrounding us. The depth of this longing occasionally gives rise to other aches. At first, they seem as competitors in the recesses of my heart. But when taken to the Father with a desire for freedom from anything that would hinder my loving Him, understanding comes. These aches are not competitors, but rather supplements on the path to eternity. I’ll liken them to seeds. Without the proper light, they may cause shame within our hearts. Without proper care, they become stumbling blocks. Without proper pruning, they grow into trials that may disappoint or lead us astray. But, when these factors are administered appropriately, they are dreams fulfilled that result in His glory and increase our love for Him.

In Passion & Purity, Elisabeth Elliot references these longings as she comments on loneliness, writing:

“The loneliness itself is material for sacrifice. The very longings themselves can be offered to Him who understands perfectly. The transformation into something He can use for the good of others takes place only when the offering is put into His hands.”

Regardless what situation you face, it can only be made good in His hands. In ours, we fumble and misuse it. God redeems all things, but how nice it must be to allow Him to work it out His way initially. This will not always be the case, but I want to encourage you to take these longings to God. They are His gift to you. Let Him help you receive the most from these gifts. How can these aches be a gift, you may ask. These aches cause a groaning within us that awaken our hearts to desires, dreams, and destinies that He wants to give us. Without the aches, we miss the beautiful gifts He wants to lavish us with. Without the longings, we miss the jewels He wants to adorn us with. They're not pleasant, but they are necessary in our journey to perfection. Where do the proper light, care, and pruning come in protecting these seeds of longing? The One True God. Jesus is the light that nourishes these longings as we receive of His glory. Holy Spirit protects and cares for them as we are led by Him. Abba prunes them as He causes them to grow into the trees that will bear fruit. Our light would give them improper attention. Our care would smother and suppress them. Our pruning would cut away the fruit bearing branches. Only God can faithfully produce a brilliant harvest from the seeds of longing within us. They were given by Him that He might be glorified through you. I encourage you to give every ache of longing within your heart to God as material for sacrifice. Those that are not of Him are better left in His hands, but the longings that are from Him will grow to produce dreams fulfilled.

He is Faithful

I stake my life on this one statement: God is faithful. Without this truth, the world would cease to exist. It encompasses so much and one thing. He is constant. His constancy is a promise to us of life and not death, to those who seek His face. He says so, and He has to stand by His word, otherwise He would not be faithful and the world would not be. Consider a person you know who lies. How often do you doubt that person’s words? How often do you act on what they say without questioning it? How often do you take that person’s word as law without second thought? We may not even consciously hold those lies against that person, but trust is lost when lies abound. Sadly, God Himself does not lie, and we don’t trust Him. He does everything He promises to do. It may not happen when or how we think it should, but He comes through every time, and still, we have a hard time believing and trusting Him. The other day, I thought about His grace. It’s one thing I can rely on, because He is faithful. I thought about how we find ourselves in situations, and we know they could’ve been worst if not for His grace. Then, it occurred to me that there are so many other similar situations that we miss having to endure because of His grace. He covers things we did not even know we needed covering from. I wondered how many prayers have I prayed and how many things have I desired that would lead me further away from Him and towards death? It sounds dramatic, but what situations has He saved me from in order to prolong my life? There are moments I can recall in which I know He saved me from death, but how many more do I not realize because of His mercy and grace? Because He protected me and gave me something better…something transforming. We pray, and God answers. He is faithful. It’s apart of the relationship that we have with Him. He always answers. It may not be when we think we need it, or what we think we need, or how we think we need it, but He answers us in His grace. It is exactly what we need to live, to love, and to pursue Him. When you find things aren’t working out the way you plan them to or thought they would, it’s not because He didn’t answer your prayers. He is working it out for your good. Whether He’s showing you that the job or person you’ve been praying for isn’t His best for you, or asking you to wait for something, it’s in His faithfulness that He does so. He loves you, and He has His best in mind for you at all cost. At times, it costs those things we hold so dear to our hearts. Whatever the cost, I lay it down, because I can trust Him. It’s not always easy, but it’s always necessary, because through it all He is and will forever be faithful.