Rewriting the Story of Our Hearts

Abraham is my favorite person to read about in the Bible. I’m always amazed at the way He walked with the Lord without the resources we have today, and yet, it’s so hard for us to trust God and believe His word. One time when I read the account of Abraham’s faith in Romans and was completely taken aback by the difference between the New Testament account of Abraham’s faith and what we see in the Old Testament. Abraham asked Sarah to lie about being his wife on more than one occasion to preserve his own life. He also slept with Hagar in order to provide a son for himself when he doubted the promise of God to produce a son through Sarah. Abraham wasn’t a perfect man, but he is heralded as the father of our faith and rightfully so. He experienced moments of doubt, but his faith persisted throughout his life. The New Testament uses him as the example of what our faith walk should be:

“Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever He promises. And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him righteous. And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in Him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was handed over to die because of our sins, and he was raised to life to make us right with God.” - Romans 4:20-25

I asked God about this discrepancy. I wondered why we don’t see Abraham’s struggles mentioned in this passage about his faith. He shared with me the truth of justification in Christ. When we believe in the Lord, the record of our sin and shortcoming is fully erased. Our faith in the work of Christ makes us right with God, and every wrongdoing that we submit to the finished work of the cross is erased forever. Jesus died for our sins. They are no more. Too often, we hold tight to sin as though it is a lifeline, helping us to preserve the life we’ve grown accustomed to instead of trading them in for the new abundant life that’s promised to us through our faith in Jesus. This defies the faith we profess. God desires more for us then the sin nature we cling so hardly to. He promises to give us abundant life if we just let Him in on our story.

This year, I entered 2016 with arms wide open, eager to leave the shame of misunderstandings and disappointments in 2015. Last year wasn’t all bad, but there were still things that I wanted to escape, moments that left a bad taste in my mouth, and words that I’ve fought hard not to regret. Today, I realized the scar of those memories can be beautiful. Not because I’m in denial about it all, but simply because I serve a God who loves to rewrite the stories of our hearts. Our stories are told differently when seen through heaven’s eyes and God invites us to get a glimpse of this view. He gives beauty for ashes and hope in the midst of despair. I’m a better person for the things I’ve experienced, both good and bad, because I’ve submitted them to God and they are now in good hands. I’m determined to live 2016 abiding in the Lord and believing that He is who He says He is and that I am who He says I am. The past can’t define me, because what I see is very different than what the Lord has written, and I’m choosing to let His account be the truth that defines my life. And when all is said and done, I pray, that like Abraham, my faith, and not my struggles, will be the testimony of the life I lived on earth.

My Snapshot of the Zabbaleen: A Tribute to Cairo's Garbage Collectors

"They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces were not ashamed."

- Psalm 34: 5

I want to share with you one of my most precious memories. It is the day I learned heaven rejoices at the sound of a child’s laughter.

It was during my first trip to the Middle East.  We were in Egypt for 10 days, mainly visiting friends in Alexandria, but we decided to tag a couple of days in Cairo to the end of our trip. On this particular day, we made plans to visit Cairo’s Garbage City.  I wasn’t feeling well, but this place had captured my interest more strongly than the pyramids, so I gathered my strength and joined my friends for what would prove to be a memorable day. 

Although our goal was to hang out with the locals, we started our day as tourists. A friend took us to the Cave Church that Garbage City is known for, Sama’ans Church, which lies at the base of a mountain said to have been moved by faith in the 10^th century.  The mountain came first, then the Zabbaleen (Garbage Collectors).  While it was nice to visit the Sama’ans Church and learn the history of the mountain, our purpose in going was to meet the people, but we were running out of time. And yet, we soon discovered time wasn’t an issue at all.

Earlier that day, our friend offered to spend the morning showing us Garbage City, after which he would return to work for the day.  Morning quickly became afternoon and we headed back through the village and into the heart of Cairo, but we weren’t finished. As we drove past the Zabbaleen, we knew we had to stop. We convinced our friend to give us 5 minutes and then climbed out the car, 1 Egyptian and 5 foreigners. We were a sight to behold for more reasons than one. We drew a crowd, not simply because we were a group of foreigners, but also because we began to pray for the sick and injured and they were healed. People came from their houses dragging their kids and other family members to receive prayer. Some were sick and others just wanted a blessing. The faith of the Zabbaleen to receive a gift from God was strong, and it was evident that they wanted the good gifts our Heavenly Father had to offer.

As I stood among the crowd, I felt a tug at my shirt. Looking down, there was a small boy with a pained expression on his face. I knew he needed prayer, but I wasn’t sure what for. He didn’t speak English and I didn’t have a translator, but he pointed to his finger. So I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to heal the need though I was ignorant of the exact condition. After a few seconds, I understood that his finger was broken and he was unable to bend it. I gently rubbed my finger across his and prayed for healing. Seconds later, I made a bending motion with my hand to encourage him to try to bend his finger. He shook his head. I prayed a little while longer and repeated the gesture. Again, he shook his head. I prayed again and waited for direction from the Holy Spirit. Then once again, I opened and closed my hand and gestured for him to do the same. This time, he repeated the motion with no problem.  When he saw that his finger was healed, his face lit up. Following each miracle, we pointed to the sky and said Jesus in Arabic, then praised Him. Before I could do this, the little boy took off running after a truck. As he ran, the sound of his laughter flowed to my ears and filled my heart. I watched him jump on the back of the truck and foolishly warned him to be careful. He was a boy, and his joy had returned.

In that moment, as his laughter filled the air, I noticed something shift around us. The day was brighter and light seemed to fill the village. I lost awareness of the garbage piled up in the streets and turned my gaze from the sky to the faces of the people. It was like the heavens had opened and the Father was smiling down on us, and in response, hoped filled all of our hearts as we stood in the streets. Our countenances changed, and I felt heaven rejoice.

As we left that day, I was amazed, not just at God’s awesome power, but at the hearts of the people. The city was founded on a miracle, and the faith of the Zabbaleen is an example of how faith begets faith. They are a people familiar with miracles, but still hungry for a touch of God. When I think of the Zabbaleen, I remember the joy among the garbage; I remember how they welcomed us into their homes; I remember the beauty of their hearts and that they are precious in the Father’s eyes. They live among the garbage and God is restoring their hope for something more. And as their hope is being restored, I pray that their hunger would continue to grow as their eyes shift from God’s hand to His heart.

Musings in Uncertainty

I was running, and I hit a wall.

Then, when the shock lifted and the dust settled, I found myself at a crossroads. 

Questions swirl through my mind: “Do I? Should I? What if I?”

All telling of the conundrum I find myself in

Between choosing a life I once knew and loved,

A life I could easily settle back into,

Or… staying and waiting for something to give so I can enter into a new place

The place I had hoped I’d be by now.

Do I stay or do I go?

Should I work or should I wait?

What if I…

How do you rest in a whirlwind of unknowns?

When all of your best laid plans get caught in an upward drift

And remain suspended in mid air,

Do you continue on the path of uncertainty

Or lay knew plans with your own machinations?

Oh, but the echo of His Word:

“Be still and know that I am God."[1]

That should be enough to defy the temptations.

For true rest isn’t found in the knowing,

It’s found in the only constant that always existed:

Jesus is Lord.

Long before the world we know was created

And far after it ceases to be,

He will be… and remains Lord. 

He is the only constant we can lean on,

The only truth there is to know.

Unknowns fall away when our eyes are set on Him,

And the path becomes clear.

After all, the light of all life is found in Him,

And with Him, darkness is no longer darkness. 

My questions are misplaced,

Because that miserable “I” has been their focal point.

The best focal point is Jesus,

And I’ve decided that my questions should follow the way of the answers.

Let them begin and end with Him.

---

[1] Proverbs 46:10

Heart of Compassion

My brothers often joke that I run towards danger, saying, "If a country is in war, she's on her way there." This is somewhat accurate, although the purpose behind my desire to visit these war-torn places is often overlooked.  Truthfully, I love adventure and I am a thrill seeker, but I don't see thrills in war. I see broken people. I see people who are losing loved ones, homes, and hope.  I see people in need of compassion and love. That's what's most important, not the place nor the conditions, but the people. My eagerness in going to these countries is not the thrill of danger, but a love for the people being affected by the turmoil around them. Most of them can't get away, so why not go to them?

In Matthew 9:37-38, Jesus tells his disciples to pray for laborers to be sent into His harvest. This verse is often quoted with little regard to the context. Indeed, there is a need for laborers, but there is an even greater need for laborers with compassion.  Verse 35 and 36 say,

"Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But when He saw the multitude, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd."

Did you get it? "He was moved with compassion for them." Then comes verses 37 and 38:

"Then He said to His disciples, 'The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore, pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest."

I am convinced that we need more laborers in the harvest, but I am even more convinced that it is detrimental to send laborers who lack compassion. For too long, nations have been wounded by Christians who chose to judge them rather than love them. It was this type of judgment that the religious leaders of Jesus' time slung at the multitude. The people had judgmental leaders, but no shepherd, no voice of compassion, no voice of love. Jesus was that voice for them. In John 12:47, Jesus explains that He did not come to judge the world but to save it. I believe that salvation ultimately comes from love. Love is the driving force that sent our Savior to the cross. If judgment had been His purpose, we all would be condemned and none would be saved. So, let's remember that love drew us to the cross and into the arms of the blameless One who took our judgment upon Himself. Then, let's turn around and offer that love to those around us. And finally, as we pray for the salvation of the nations, let's pray for the laborers to be sent and that these sent laborers would carry a heart of compassion as Jesus did.

Getting Back to Purity

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” –Matthew 5:8

This is a beautiful promise that has captured my heart the last few days. The pure in heart shall see God. How exciting! As I pondered this, I wondered what it looks like to be pure. It’s not just the chastity model so many of us have learned, nor is it all about abstinence or determining how far is too far sexually. Purity of heart goes deeper than sexual purity, and while sexual purity starts in the heart, true purity encompasses much more than this. Jesus teaches that what one speaks comes from his heart and defiles a man (Matt 15:18), and Paul admonishes us not to allow unwholesome talk to escape our mouths since this violates purity. At another time, Jesus compares harboring unjust anger towards one’s brother to the Old Testament command about murder saying, both will lead to “danger of the judgment” (Matt 5:21-22).  This, too, violates purity, and there are many other violations of purity noted throughout the Scriptures. With each of these issues, purity is not necessarily about abstinence or pushing boundaries. Purity ultimately is a condition of the heart. 

I believe that the secret of living with a pure heart is found in Matt. 6:1-4. In these verses, Jesus warns the multitude of doing good deeds before an audience as many of the religious people did at the time. He encourages them that the Father will reward a good deed done in secret, and it’s a far better reward than the momentary praise of men.  This passage speaks of motives.  Ask yourself: what is the motive of your heart in pursuing purity? Is it to please your family, significant other, or pastor? Is it to follow the “rules” to ensure you have a place in heaven? Are you trying to put on a good show for those around you? Or are you honestly living to please God? How you answer the motive question will determine whether you are truly pursuing purity or living for a fleeting reward. If you are truly living to please the Father, then purity will no longer be a matter of what you can or can’t do. You won’t even want to go near those things if you think for a second that you could bring displeasure to His heart by engaging in them. Walking with a pure heart is seeking to please the Father in whatever you do.  This leads to the fulfilled promise of seeing His face. 

Psalm 24 speaks of a generation that will seek the face of the LORD, a generation who has clean hands and a pure heart, the generation of Jacob.  This generation will be pursuers and lovers of purity made up of those who have counted the cost and still find Him worthy. When we pursue purity, we pursue the heart of Jesus for He is the only one truly undefiled. Jesus lived to please the Father, and in doing so, He walked untainted within this world. He didn’t compromise for the sake of relevance, but, in staying true to the call of the Father, He walked in obedience and stood out as one man among the nations of the known world.  Like Jesus, we all have a unique calling and destiny, and our walks of purity are going to be unique to how we are created by God, which is why it’s important for us to understand that purity doesn’t look one way. The Bible does point us on the same path towards purity with the stipulations and warnings it notes, and, along with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we should seriously consider and apply the prescriptions found in the Bible. Even so, the application may not look the same for everyone, and that’s where the understanding of purity draws us back to our motives.  Purity looks like seeking to please God within the realm and community He has placed you. You express one aspect of God that no other person can, and you are beautiful in your uniqueness. Be that expression of God within that community without being afraid to stand out. Seek to please Him among whatever people He has placed you.
  
There is a line being drawn in the sand, and the people of God will have to choose where we will stand. We can no longer compromise, but, like Jesus, we can still remain relevant. He wasn’t relevant in the way the people desired, but He was still relevant through His obedience, and it changed the history of the world. Let’s follow the example of Jesus, and get back to true purity. 

The Deep

An ache, a groan, a cry, a sob
and then, the rushing of the depths
'All Your waves and billows wash over me'
An inner cleansing from the wells of God
Let the depths open up and the rivers overflow
The waters arising from the core of His heart
O Heart of God, draw me in
Into the deep, where darkness becomes light
and death becomes life
Where deserts give way to fruit
And truth is the only word known
He speaks and it is
There is no other way in reality
And yet, in this altered world
We must see to believe
In betrayal of our true nature
Sons of God arise in the power of His word
Speak by the faithfulness of His name
Call that which is not into being
Empowered by the Creator
We have chosen to be free of
And so, we are powerless and enslaved
By a false identity, a foreign nature
We are too quick to embrace
But where is life and by Whom does it come?
There is only one
The Messiah gives life and freedom to the enslaved
He empowers the powerless and restores identity to the nameless
He is the Christ of God
Rise from the depths of despair and oppression
and go into the depths of the Heart of God
Seek Him and find Him
He is waiting for you

Pray for the Syrians

The world sits in silence as a people mourn their mounting loss. Homes, possessions, dignity, and yet even worse, lives. They fall day and night at the sound of the rockets, bombs, and consistent gunfire. Where does the world stand as Syria falls in bloodshed? Our economies are failing, another protest for another dollar, but what about the people? What about fighting for something that's lasting, something that's eternal? The hearts and souls of men.

God have mercy. Lift Your eyes upon the Syrians and save their souls from destruction. Raise a cry among the nations for the bloodshed to end. Damascus will fall, yet there will be a remnant. Lord, rescue your people. God have mercy.

Many of the Christian Syrians are being targeted by the rebels who are extremist, and the Christian communities are being used as human shields. In addition to this, they lack food, water, and medical treatment. There are some who are trying to help them escape Syria, although the rebel forces are trying to prevent their escape. If you'd like to make a donation to help the persecuted church in Syria, please visit: https://barnabasfund.org/donations/?id=00-1032&appealCode=SYR%2012/12

Pray for the Syrians: the displaced and persecuted. Whether Muslim or Christian, they need our prayers.

But You Are Holy

I melt in His eyes.
"But You Are Holy," I protest. How can One as holy as He even consider drawing near to me?
With eyes so tender, He softly touches my cheek.
"You are Mine," comes His reply so meek.
How is it that the God of the Universe, the King of all Glory, the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth can love me?

In humility, He came.
In compassion, He walked.
In meekness, He died.
In power, He rose.
In passion, He lives.
By fire, He loves. Me.
By fire, He loves me.

When He looks at me, my heart begins to melt, and I become undone.
"But You Are Holy," I protest. How can One as holy as He even consider drawing near to me?
With eyes so tender, He draws me into His arms.
"You are Mine," comes His reply so calm.
How is it that the King of Kings, the Everlasting God, the Holy One of Israel, the One who has no beginning and no end can love me?

In passion, He'll come.
In glory, He'll reign.
In righteousness, He'll judge. 
In truth, He'll rejoice.
In holiness, He'll marry.
Through eternity, He'll love. Me.
Through eternity, He'll love me. 

His eyes see right through me, and my all is exposed. 
"But You Are Holy," I protest. How can One as holy as He even consider drawing near to me?
With eyes so tender, He tilts up my head. Then I see His dancing eyes and joyous smile, and I know, even in the fullness of His holiness, He loves me. 
"You are holy, because you are mine," He says.
I am His, and through Him, I am holy. 

Redemption is a Stained Glass Window

Redemption is a stained glass window.

My heart was seemingly complete in its own way

Without need of another, without reliance or trust

It was empty and alone, and yet the tranquil blue hue

Translated light into beautiful brokenness.

My heart, a whole piece of glass that was broken.

But then, it was shattered.

Failure and disappointment shattered this fragile heart.

I tried reliance, I tried trust, but hope in others failed me.

This shattered heart finally reflected it’s true state

Brokenness

My Redeemer Lives

Redemption is a stained glass window.

He took the shattered pieces of my heart

And fashioned them together with that of others.

Reds, Purples, Yellows, and Greens

Each heart, a color of it’s own.

Each heart broken in its wholeness.

But when it shatters, our Redeemer brings wholeness.

Each piece of a shattered heart fitted to the piece of another

Until the reds, purples, yellows, and greens tell a story of their own:

The redemption of our Savior.

In His light, we are found

Emitting the colors of redemption, hope, and love.

Wholeness is found in this stained glass window.  

Persevering into Light

This has been the hardest year for me, but also the most blessed. It seems heartache and blessing often go hand in hand. As we follow our Shepherd, we must keep this before us. There is often a trial and struggle that takes place prior to the fulfillment of a dream or desire. We are often pruned in preparation to obtain the fullest measure of the promise. It’s not an easy walk, but this is the pattern of our lives in Christ. I believe this is best depicted through Psalm 23:4-5: 

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.” 

In these verses, we see a trial followed by victory and blessing. This trial was overcome in the presence of the LORD. David kept his eyes on His Shepherd while being led out of the valley and into the promise. 

God hides Himself in darkness, and yet, He is the Father of Lights and light in Himself.  In Him, there is no darkness at all. Those who would seek Him must first traverse the darkness before entering into the purity of His Light. Many will grow weary or turn back in fear, the darkness being too heavy for them to withstand. Those called by His name cannot be among those who draw back. The reward is too great to lose though the trials themselves may carry a great cost. Our eyes must remain focused on the goal, the Christ. But why must we endure the struggle before obtaining the prize? I do not think we would understand the sweetness of the reward if we obtained it without effort. It’s like the problem with pain and evil. Can we truly know pleasure without pain? Would we recognize goodness without the contrast of evil? I often wonder if Adam would’ve known his need for Eve had he not felt alone. Without the trial of darkness, we would fail to acknowledge the blessing of Light, and in doing so, we would strip God of His rightful honor and glory. I challenge you to be grateful for the trials and moments of darkness, knowing that you will grow in greater wonder and amazement at the blessing found in Light when you arrive. With this gratitude, may you be found persevering always.

Despair or Holiness

I am broken
This place of pain is a fork in the road
Two paths lie before me
One towards despair and the other to holiness
But what shall I choose?

Oh Sovereign God, You have brought me here
Pain is an ally to those who desire Your likeness
The broken heart opens the way for Your presence
There is a need there like nowhere else

And in this place, I yearn for You

The road is blurred, yet Your Spirit moves
The movement is felt by the sensitive soul
Like the wind, You are here and You are there
But where should I place my foot?
And where does my first step lie?

Show me the way of truth
For I desire Your likeness

And yearn to be Your delight
Holiness is found in brokenness
And joy is the promised end to mourning.

Many Waters Cannot Quench Love

If only we all knew and understood how true a marriage commitment is and how precious the gift of love in friendship. This is Ian and Larissa's story from DesiringGod.com. I hope it blesses you as much as it has me.

 

"Intro: Letter from John Piper

“You will never regret loving this much.”

John was there, watching our wedding, just a few months after his dear wife had passed. She lived with cancer for too many years, and for each day in each year, John was her lover and her caregiver. He knew what we were getting into that day. He knew the costs. I looked at him sitting on the old, wooden benches, without her next to him. The two little wooden birds that he whittled sat on our cake, on top of his love inscription. And his spoken words after meant so much, reminding me that love like this is unable to produce regret.

Unlike John, and many couples, we didnʼt face sickness when we were grandparents. We started there. And it was severe.

The Heart of Man

Ian and I had planned to get married as soon as we graduated from college in December of 2006. But instead, everything was halted with his brain injury, which he received on September 30 of that year in a car accident. And so instead of getting married when we were young and healthy and naive, we waited four years and got married when he was sick, and disabled and we were still grieving.

The decision to get married was one of the hardest but simplest decisions weʼll face. Iʼve heard that choosing marriage for anyone can raise doubts and fears. I think a disability takes those normal fears, and multiplies them.

Marrying Ian meant that I was signing on to things that I donʼt think I ever wouldʼve chosen for myself — working my whole life, having a husband who canʼt be left alone, managing his caregivers, remembering to get the oil changed, advocating for medical care, balancing checkbooks, and on. The practical costs felt huge, and those didnʼt even touch on the emotional and spiritual battles that I would face.

But in light of all the practicals, and emotionals, it was so very simple: we love each other. And we love God. And we believe He is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things.

Our pastor who married us, Mark Altrogge, was with us on the day that our marriage was approved by a local judge. Because of Ian’s condition, the courts had to decide that it was in his best interest to be married. Mark said that he’ll never forget the words of the judge who approved our marriage license: “You two exemplify what love is all about. I believe that marriage will not only benefit you both, but our community and hope that everyone in this city could see your love for one another.”

We don’t know if that judge loved Jesus, but I think that he saw Jesus’ love that day in us. It was a glimpse to us of the glory that God would bring forth in our marriage. Along with us, Mark’s confidence in our marriage was faith in the One who promised to never leave us or forsake us.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

I still donʼt think that Ian would have ever left me if the role had been reversed. And walking away from my best friend was never truly an option.

Because of that, a warm, summer evening on 8/28 found us married under my parentsʼ trees in the mountains.

Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing

And even though we chose marriage, we chose it sadly. Sorrow has been a permanent resident in our 20s. It feels like the rest of the world uses these years for really fun things. But in our 20s, we have watched our future crash with him in that white station wagon and we now live with two versions of Ian. Weʼve watched all of our friends get married, and have health. Iʼve watched as my girlfriends and sisters found husbands who could dance with them at their weddings and drive them to church on Sunday morning. Weʼve watched our dad fight and be taken by brain cancer, only to see life keep marching on.

Fortunately, our hope is that weʼve also watched all of these alongside Jesus, who is our own man of sorrows, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). So we have not walked it alone.

A Beautiful Covenant

“Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart" (Proverbs 3:3).

We know that we have made a covenant to each other, just as Christ made to the church. The church that He made that covenant with is so imperfect, and sorrowful, and disabled. Just like our marriage. This church, and this marriage, are hemmed in by Jesus and eagerly long heaven. He is their author and sustainer."

 

I Love My Daddy

My daddy passed away on February 18 of this year.  I had left him a few hours earlier with my mom. Before falling asleep that morning, I read Psalm 77, a fitting Psalm for what would soon pass.  My mother ran upstairs to tell me my dad was gone.  I went to see for myself, and the paramedics arrived as I said a quick prayer over my dad.  They didn’t try to resuscitate him. He had been gone for too long. We don’t know exactly what time my dad passed, but he fell asleep with my mom sitting next to him, holding his hand. 

 

God is amazing in His love.  I retreated to my room after delivering the news to my brothers and sister.  I grabbed my bible and prayed for God’s resurrection power to be released into my dad’s body and for his soul to return.  The LORD spoke: “I hear your prayer.” The sound of His voice comforted me. I knew my dad would remain with Him. It is better this way.  At that moment, my tears finally came. Even my sobs were calm, as I repeatedly thanked the LORD. Gratitude was my deepest expression at the moment.  It wasn’t what I expected.  My dad had been sick for months, and I expected, should he die, that I would crumble and my world would fall apart.  I didn’t, and it hasn’t.  “All is well,” was the whisper I heard from the Father time and time again.  Anxiety took over my body in the place of sorrow, but His voice never faded: “All is well.”  I knew it, but my body and my soul were in two different places.  The tension had built up from the months of caring for him, but the peace that kept my soul had yet to remove the anxiety that had been growing for days.  The peace was unyielding, and within me, I felt the war of what was happening.  God held tightly as the anxiety tried to strip me of His peace. I’m not normally an anxious person, and this moment was the greatest anxiety I had ever felt. But God always wins, and His peace has kept me since the moment I learned of my dad’s passing. I know it’ll always keep me.

My dad has always held the highest place in my heart after God.  Much of who I am is a direct result of his love and care.  I did everything with the goal of pleasing him, and the best part was that I always succeeded.  He showed no disappointment in me. He corrected when necessary, but even that was done with a calm spirit and a loving heart. He was always so proud of us, not because of our achievements, but simply because we were his. His love and joy were extended to all he met. He knew no strangers.  I loved to share my daddy with everyone, because he had a way of making people feel special, as though they were the most important person in the world. I’ve watched him do it many times, and it never ceased to amaze me. I can go on and on about how awesome my daddy was while on earth. He was human, and he had flaws as we all do, but his life expressed the heart of God in ways few people can.  I know God because of my daddy. The ability to draw near to the Father, to have a personal relationship with Jesus, and to connect with Holy Spirit is the greatest gift my dad has ever given me.  It’s simply because he himself walked with God. 

Since my daddy’s passing, my expression of gratitude is the deepest emotion I feel. My daddy is gone, and it has affected me so deeply. I am grateful that I could be so deeply affected. I am grateful that I could love him the way that I do. I am grateful that he loved me the way he did.  I know my daddy was a gift to me. He had cancer, and he outlived his prognosis by 15 years. I cherished each day with him, and I gladly shared him with others, because I was confident in his love for me. I am grateful to have the time I had with him. I am grateful because I knew he was an awesome daddy, and I told him daily. Words weren’t loss between us. He knew my heart, and I knew his. I am grateful that he was mine. My heart rejoiced and continues to rejoice because I have no doubt that my daddy is with Jesus. My two favorite people are chilling together in heaven, and I have much to look forward to when my time here is finished. Until then, I’ll live out my daddy’s legacy: a true relationship with the LORD our God. 

A Lesson on the Fear of the LORD from Psalm 34:11-16

"Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 
Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. 
The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth."  (Psalm 34:11-16)

In this Psalm, David notes the difference between those who fear the LORD and those who do not. Where the one is righteous, the other is evil.  One will see good in his days, the other will see evil in his days. One will be redeemed into eternal life, the other will be slayed by evil and given over to condemnation.  The truth of sowing and reaping is both a natural and supernatural law that is evident in God's dealing with the righteous and wicked.  Those who sow into good will reap good, and those who sow into evil will reap evil.  You may wonder why bad things happen to good people if this is true. I can't answer that now, but I would warn you not to see good and evil through human eyes. Try to understand that His knowledge of good and evil reach far beyond our limited understanding. We base our understanding of good and evil on what we believe to be naturally pleasing. To the unrefined mind, our understanding of good and evil has nothing to do with eternity or supernatural things. Our views are based on our senses.  Remember that Eve judged the fruit from the tree to be good, but in reality, it was bad to the core, and our fallen state is the result of her false judgment. In this fallen state, we are all subjected to tragedy as well as celebrations. That's a part of life, but there is a way for those who fear God that stands above the rest.

David's lesson on the fear of the LORD begins with a question about the man who "desires life and loves many days, that he may see good."  Why does David begin his lesson with a question? Because this is the man who should fear the LORD.  David is saying, "if you desire to be this man, you will choose to fear the LORD and heed what I am saying to you. If you desire otherwise, turn your eyes from Him, and He will set your face against you."

The man who would fear the LORD must "keep his tongue from evil, his lips from speaking deceit, depart from evil, do good, and seek and pursue peace." This lesson looks like a list of rules much like the law of Moses.  But what does this list have to do with fearing God?  Everything.  The fear of the LORD is a matter of viewing Him in your heart.  When you love Him in reverence and awe, the things that matter to His heart are important to yours. Then, you seek to learn to discern the things that God loves and the things that He hates, and you are able to view your actions how He views them.  He loves you. He loves us all as His creation, as a people He created for Himself. But he hates sin, evil, and wickedness.  No matter how much we love Him, we practice such things when we don't fear Him.  

When asked what are the greatest commandments, Jesus responds: "'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40).   One of the purposes of the Law was to teach people to walk in a holy fear of God. When you understand the place of man in light of who God is, it's not a difficult thing to fear Him, and the Law has been a constant reminder to Israel that God is unlike them and that He deserves reverence.  

Jesus says the second commandment is like the first. How can this be if one deals with God and the other deals with man? The answer is the very reason for Jesus' sacrifice.  God loves man.  That's the reason why we can't profess to love Him and not truly love our neighbor.  It's why David says to keep our tongue from evil and our lips from speaking deceit.  There is always a target for bad talk.  While it's okay to speak against a sin, it's not okay to speak evil against the person. God's heart is towards that person. If we honestly love God as we are commanded to do, evil speaking and deceit will be far from our lips. We would seek to do good and not evil to our neighbors, and we would pursue peace with them always.  Why? Because if we seek to slander and do evil to our neighbors, we have set ourselves against a person who God loves.  We have turned against God's heart for that person, and we are speaking death over someone who God desires to see live.  When we don't desire good for one another, we are making ourselves an enemy against God, because He desires good for us all. Our ability to receive this good is based on our righteousness in Christ which is linked to fearing God.  We cannot truly love Him without having a holy fear of Him. Both are necessary to walk out the love He desires.  The wrath of God is a fearful thing, and He will judge rightfully all things on the earth.  Evil will be dealt evil, and good will be dealt good. It's happening daily on the earth, and it will happen in eternity according to the law of sowing and reaping.  

Fear God: depart from evil, do good, and pursue peace.  The rest of the Psalm notes the promises to the righteous who fear the LORD. His eyes will ever be on them, to deliver them, to save them, and to redeem their souls.  It is a good thing to fear God as He is worthy of our reverence and respect.  It is also a blessed thing for He promises life and blessings to those who fear Him.