Redemption is a Stained Glass Window

Redemption is a stained glass window.

My heart was seemingly complete in its own way

Without need of another, without reliance or trust

It was empty and alone, and yet the tranquil blue hue

Translated light into beautiful brokenness.

My heart, a whole piece of glass that was broken.

But then, it was shattered.

Failure and disappointment shattered this fragile heart.

I tried reliance, I tried trust, but hope in others failed me.

This shattered heart finally reflected it’s true state

Brokenness

My Redeemer Lives

Redemption is a stained glass window.

He took the shattered pieces of my heart

And fashioned them together with that of others.

Reds, Purples, Yellows, and Greens

Each heart, a color of it’s own.

Each heart broken in its wholeness.

But when it shatters, our Redeemer brings wholeness.

Each piece of a shattered heart fitted to the piece of another

Until the reds, purples, yellows, and greens tell a story of their own:

The redemption of our Savior.

In His light, we are found

Emitting the colors of redemption, hope, and love.

Wholeness is found in this stained glass window.  

Persevering into Light

This has been the hardest year for me, but also the most blessed. It seems heartache and blessing often go hand in hand. As we follow our Shepherd, we must keep this before us. There is often a trial and struggle that takes place prior to the fulfillment of a dream or desire. We are often pruned in preparation to obtain the fullest measure of the promise. It’s not an easy walk, but this is the pattern of our lives in Christ. I believe this is best depicted through Psalm 23:4-5: 

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.” 

In these verses, we see a trial followed by victory and blessing. This trial was overcome in the presence of the LORD. David kept his eyes on His Shepherd while being led out of the valley and into the promise. 

God hides Himself in darkness, and yet, He is the Father of Lights and light in Himself.  In Him, there is no darkness at all. Those who would seek Him must first traverse the darkness before entering into the purity of His Light. Many will grow weary or turn back in fear, the darkness being too heavy for them to withstand. Those called by His name cannot be among those who draw back. The reward is too great to lose though the trials themselves may carry a great cost. Our eyes must remain focused on the goal, the Christ. But why must we endure the struggle before obtaining the prize? I do not think we would understand the sweetness of the reward if we obtained it without effort. It’s like the problem with pain and evil. Can we truly know pleasure without pain? Would we recognize goodness without the contrast of evil? I often wonder if Adam would’ve known his need for Eve had he not felt alone. Without the trial of darkness, we would fail to acknowledge the blessing of Light, and in doing so, we would strip God of His rightful honor and glory. I challenge you to be grateful for the trials and moments of darkness, knowing that you will grow in greater wonder and amazement at the blessing found in Light when you arrive. With this gratitude, may you be found persevering always.

Despair or Holiness

I am broken
This place of pain is a fork in the road
Two paths lie before me
One towards despair and the other to holiness
But what shall I choose?

Oh Sovereign God, You have brought me here
Pain is an ally to those who desire Your likeness
The broken heart opens the way for Your presence
There is a need there like nowhere else

And in this place, I yearn for You

The road is blurred, yet Your Spirit moves
The movement is felt by the sensitive soul
Like the wind, You are here and You are there
But where should I place my foot?
And where does my first step lie?

Show me the way of truth
For I desire Your likeness

And yearn to be Your delight
Holiness is found in brokenness
And joy is the promised end to mourning.

Many Waters Cannot Quench Love

If only we all knew and understood how true a marriage commitment is and how precious the gift of love in friendship. This is Ian and Larissa's story from DesiringGod.com. I hope it blesses you as much as it has me.

 

"Intro: Letter from John Piper

“You will never regret loving this much.”

John was there, watching our wedding, just a few months after his dear wife had passed. She lived with cancer for too many years, and for each day in each year, John was her lover and her caregiver. He knew what we were getting into that day. He knew the costs. I looked at him sitting on the old, wooden benches, without her next to him. The two little wooden birds that he whittled sat on our cake, on top of his love inscription. And his spoken words after meant so much, reminding me that love like this is unable to produce regret.

Unlike John, and many couples, we didnʼt face sickness when we were grandparents. We started there. And it was severe.

The Heart of Man

Ian and I had planned to get married as soon as we graduated from college in December of 2006. But instead, everything was halted with his brain injury, which he received on September 30 of that year in a car accident. And so instead of getting married when we were young and healthy and naive, we waited four years and got married when he was sick, and disabled and we were still grieving.

The decision to get married was one of the hardest but simplest decisions weʼll face. Iʼve heard that choosing marriage for anyone can raise doubts and fears. I think a disability takes those normal fears, and multiplies them.

Marrying Ian meant that I was signing on to things that I donʼt think I ever wouldʼve chosen for myself — working my whole life, having a husband who canʼt be left alone, managing his caregivers, remembering to get the oil changed, advocating for medical care, balancing checkbooks, and on. The practical costs felt huge, and those didnʼt even touch on the emotional and spiritual battles that I would face.

But in light of all the practicals, and emotionals, it was so very simple: we love each other. And we love God. And we believe He is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things.

Our pastor who married us, Mark Altrogge, was with us on the day that our marriage was approved by a local judge. Because of Ian’s condition, the courts had to decide that it was in his best interest to be married. Mark said that he’ll never forget the words of the judge who approved our marriage license: “You two exemplify what love is all about. I believe that marriage will not only benefit you both, but our community and hope that everyone in this city could see your love for one another.”

We don’t know if that judge loved Jesus, but I think that he saw Jesus’ love that day in us. It was a glimpse to us of the glory that God would bring forth in our marriage. Along with us, Mark’s confidence in our marriage was faith in the One who promised to never leave us or forsake us.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

I still donʼt think that Ian would have ever left me if the role had been reversed. And walking away from my best friend was never truly an option.

Because of that, a warm, summer evening on 8/28 found us married under my parentsʼ trees in the mountains.

Sorrowful Yet Always Rejoicing

And even though we chose marriage, we chose it sadly. Sorrow has been a permanent resident in our 20s. It feels like the rest of the world uses these years for really fun things. But in our 20s, we have watched our future crash with him in that white station wagon and we now live with two versions of Ian. Weʼve watched all of our friends get married, and have health. Iʼve watched as my girlfriends and sisters found husbands who could dance with them at their weddings and drive them to church on Sunday morning. Weʼve watched our dad fight and be taken by brain cancer, only to see life keep marching on.

Fortunately, our hope is that weʼve also watched all of these alongside Jesus, who is our own man of sorrows, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). So we have not walked it alone.

A Beautiful Covenant

“Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart" (Proverbs 3:3).

We know that we have made a covenant to each other, just as Christ made to the church. The church that He made that covenant with is so imperfect, and sorrowful, and disabled. Just like our marriage. This church, and this marriage, are hemmed in by Jesus and eagerly long heaven. He is their author and sustainer."

 

I Love My Daddy

My daddy passed away on February 18 of this year.  I had left him a few hours earlier with my mom. Before falling asleep that morning, I read Psalm 77, a fitting Psalm for what would soon pass.  My mother ran upstairs to tell me my dad was gone.  I went to see for myself, and the paramedics arrived as I said a quick prayer over my dad.  They didn’t try to resuscitate him. He had been gone for too long. We don’t know exactly what time my dad passed, but he fell asleep with my mom sitting next to him, holding his hand. 

 

God is amazing in His love.  I retreated to my room after delivering the news to my brothers and sister.  I grabbed my bible and prayed for God’s resurrection power to be released into my dad’s body and for his soul to return.  The LORD spoke: “I hear your prayer.” The sound of His voice comforted me. I knew my dad would remain with Him. It is better this way.  At that moment, my tears finally came. Even my sobs were calm, as I repeatedly thanked the LORD. Gratitude was my deepest expression at the moment.  It wasn’t what I expected.  My dad had been sick for months, and I expected, should he die, that I would crumble and my world would fall apart.  I didn’t, and it hasn’t.  “All is well,” was the whisper I heard from the Father time and time again.  Anxiety took over my body in the place of sorrow, but His voice never faded: “All is well.”  I knew it, but my body and my soul were in two different places.  The tension had built up from the months of caring for him, but the peace that kept my soul had yet to remove the anxiety that had been growing for days.  The peace was unyielding, and within me, I felt the war of what was happening.  God held tightly as the anxiety tried to strip me of His peace. I’m not normally an anxious person, and this moment was the greatest anxiety I had ever felt. But God always wins, and His peace has kept me since the moment I learned of my dad’s passing. I know it’ll always keep me.

My dad has always held the highest place in my heart after God.  Much of who I am is a direct result of his love and care.  I did everything with the goal of pleasing him, and the best part was that I always succeeded.  He showed no disappointment in me. He corrected when necessary, but even that was done with a calm spirit and a loving heart. He was always so proud of us, not because of our achievements, but simply because we were his. His love and joy were extended to all he met. He knew no strangers.  I loved to share my daddy with everyone, because he had a way of making people feel special, as though they were the most important person in the world. I’ve watched him do it many times, and it never ceased to amaze me. I can go on and on about how awesome my daddy was while on earth. He was human, and he had flaws as we all do, but his life expressed the heart of God in ways few people can.  I know God because of my daddy. The ability to draw near to the Father, to have a personal relationship with Jesus, and to connect with Holy Spirit is the greatest gift my dad has ever given me.  It’s simply because he himself walked with God. 

Since my daddy’s passing, my expression of gratitude is the deepest emotion I feel. My daddy is gone, and it has affected me so deeply. I am grateful that I could be so deeply affected. I am grateful that I could love him the way that I do. I am grateful that he loved me the way he did.  I know my daddy was a gift to me. He had cancer, and he outlived his prognosis by 15 years. I cherished each day with him, and I gladly shared him with others, because I was confident in his love for me. I am grateful to have the time I had with him. I am grateful because I knew he was an awesome daddy, and I told him daily. Words weren’t loss between us. He knew my heart, and I knew his. I am grateful that he was mine. My heart rejoiced and continues to rejoice because I have no doubt that my daddy is with Jesus. My two favorite people are chilling together in heaven, and I have much to look forward to when my time here is finished. Until then, I’ll live out my daddy’s legacy: a true relationship with the LORD our God. 

A Lesson on the Fear of the LORD from Psalm 34:11-16

"Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 
Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. 
The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth."  (Psalm 34:11-16)

In this Psalm, David notes the difference between those who fear the LORD and those who do not. Where the one is righteous, the other is evil.  One will see good in his days, the other will see evil in his days. One will be redeemed into eternal life, the other will be slayed by evil and given over to condemnation.  The truth of sowing and reaping is both a natural and supernatural law that is evident in God's dealing with the righteous and wicked.  Those who sow into good will reap good, and those who sow into evil will reap evil.  You may wonder why bad things happen to good people if this is true. I can't answer that now, but I would warn you not to see good and evil through human eyes. Try to understand that His knowledge of good and evil reach far beyond our limited understanding. We base our understanding of good and evil on what we believe to be naturally pleasing. To the unrefined mind, our understanding of good and evil has nothing to do with eternity or supernatural things. Our views are based on our senses.  Remember that Eve judged the fruit from the tree to be good, but in reality, it was bad to the core, and our fallen state is the result of her false judgment. In this fallen state, we are all subjected to tragedy as well as celebrations. That's a part of life, but there is a way for those who fear God that stands above the rest.

David's lesson on the fear of the LORD begins with a question about the man who "desires life and loves many days, that he may see good."  Why does David begin his lesson with a question? Because this is the man who should fear the LORD.  David is saying, "if you desire to be this man, you will choose to fear the LORD and heed what I am saying to you. If you desire otherwise, turn your eyes from Him, and He will set your face against you."

The man who would fear the LORD must "keep his tongue from evil, his lips from speaking deceit, depart from evil, do good, and seek and pursue peace." This lesson looks like a list of rules much like the law of Moses.  But what does this list have to do with fearing God?  Everything.  The fear of the LORD is a matter of viewing Him in your heart.  When you love Him in reverence and awe, the things that matter to His heart are important to yours. Then, you seek to learn to discern the things that God loves and the things that He hates, and you are able to view your actions how He views them.  He loves you. He loves us all as His creation, as a people He created for Himself. But he hates sin, evil, and wickedness.  No matter how much we love Him, we practice such things when we don't fear Him.  

When asked what are the greatest commandments, Jesus responds: "'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40).   One of the purposes of the Law was to teach people to walk in a holy fear of God. When you understand the place of man in light of who God is, it's not a difficult thing to fear Him, and the Law has been a constant reminder to Israel that God is unlike them and that He deserves reverence.  

Jesus says the second commandment is like the first. How can this be if one deals with God and the other deals with man? The answer is the very reason for Jesus' sacrifice.  God loves man.  That's the reason why we can't profess to love Him and not truly love our neighbor.  It's why David says to keep our tongue from evil and our lips from speaking deceit.  There is always a target for bad talk.  While it's okay to speak against a sin, it's not okay to speak evil against the person. God's heart is towards that person. If we honestly love God as we are commanded to do, evil speaking and deceit will be far from our lips. We would seek to do good and not evil to our neighbors, and we would pursue peace with them always.  Why? Because if we seek to slander and do evil to our neighbors, we have set ourselves against a person who God loves.  We have turned against God's heart for that person, and we are speaking death over someone who God desires to see live.  When we don't desire good for one another, we are making ourselves an enemy against God, because He desires good for us all. Our ability to receive this good is based on our righteousness in Christ which is linked to fearing God.  We cannot truly love Him without having a holy fear of Him. Both are necessary to walk out the love He desires.  The wrath of God is a fearful thing, and He will judge rightfully all things on the earth.  Evil will be dealt evil, and good will be dealt good. It's happening daily on the earth, and it will happen in eternity according to the law of sowing and reaping.  

Fear God: depart from evil, do good, and pursue peace.  The rest of the Psalm notes the promises to the righteous who fear the LORD. His eyes will ever be on them, to deliver them, to save them, and to redeem their souls.  It is a good thing to fear God as He is worthy of our reverence and respect.  It is also a blessed thing for He promises life and blessings to those who fear Him. 

The Fear of the LORD

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I want to do another series over the next couples of months. I’ve had the fear of the LORD on my heart for some time and have been eager to write about it. One of my consistent prayers is to grow in the fear of the LORD.  I think too many of us neglect this aspect of our relationship with Him. We need to remember that He is holy and approach Him with the proper respect.  Yes, He is our Father and our Companion, but He is also the Almighty God.  As a man should revere his father, a servant his master, a prince his king, so we should fear the LORD our God. It is of great importance to do so, and walking in this manner will bring many blessings. 

I will spend the next couple of months examining the fear of the LORD and highlighting the verses noting the many benefits of walking in the fear of the LORD on this blog.  I hope it blesses you and causes your relationship with Him to be more rich and glorious.