I Was Marked

People have told me they could not imagine me without Jesus. Not in those exact words, but you get the picture. That’s more of a testament to the transforming power of God than my own character. I praise the Lord for where He’s brought me, the wildernesses He’s led me through, the waters We’ve tread together, the mountains We’ve scaled, the valleys We’ve crossed. I praise Him for all of it. No matter how difficult or painful, joy has never left me because my Lord has never forsaken me. He can’t. It’s not in Him to do so. How have I come to this point? I do not know. But one thing I do know, I was marked. In my youth, my parents gave each of us a passage to memorize. My passage was Romans 8:28-30.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified, and whom He justified, these He also glorified.”

My daddy would make me recite it whenever people came over. Every time I did, this passage struck a cord in my heart. I knew life for me would be different than most, but I did not know all that it would entail. Even now, I’m still finding out how incredibly strange, yet fulfilling, life with God is. The strangeness isn’t in the deeds; it’s in the being. God asks us to be still and know that He is God. In the being, God reveals Himself to us in all His glorious mystery. In this place, the mystery is no longer mysterious. He unfolds the layers of His existence within our hearts, and we are changed. The strangeness is in the being, because in this place, the unknown is made known. I was marked for the stillness. I grew up with a plaguing dissatisfaction with all that surrounded me. My friends did not satisfy. I loved my family, but I needed more. I longed for something that seemed so unreachable. I desired with my entire being to feel what seemed intangible. I was marked. Everything around me contributed to the death of my soul, and I felt it. I knew it, but I felt helpless to change. I did not know what change looked like or what it would bring. Then, I learned the stillness in being, and my dissatisfaction waned until it was no more. I understood for what I was marked. The invisible became visible; the unknown became known. I learned the secrets in the mystery. How did I get to this place where the scales were removed and my vision became clear? God rescued me. I gave myself to His love, and He rescued me.